| DEC - After surviving the corny VH-1 Fashion/Music awards in NYC, and the jam
packed Couture opening at The Met you do the Christmas Family Reunion in Aspen. Afterwards
you flee to your best friends Punta Del Este (Uruguay)estate so that you can get laid
after that long week of celibacy. |
| JAN - You drift back to NY to shop the winter sales. One night you wake up from
the spontaneous orgasm of a dream in which a "Everything Must Go" sign was taped
to the window of Barney's.. Mid-month you jet to South Beach's Delano for 2 weeks to show
everything off before dashing off to New Orleans to chill with your dear friend Lenny
Kravitz. Then it was off to L.A to switch allegiance from CAA to ICM now that a particular
ship is leaking everywhere. Do a few meetings to pitch your literary TV show pairing LA
celebrities with their favorite contemporary authors. Break Drew's heart when you tell her
Juliet already got the "Catcher In The Rye" gig . Bless her dear heart when she
announces she never liked baseball anyway. While staying at that quintessential Urban
Nomad outpost Chateau Marmont you become really good friends with Thierry Mugler. Mingle
with him and his latest "muse" at the requisite Mullholand parties before
jetting back in time for the Paris Coutures featuring Galliano's dubious Givency debut
where hair diva Lisa Mitchell punches a security guard when he questions her backstage
credentials! |
| FEB - Come back to NYC for the superdull Men's Shows where you hide backstage
the whole time with your homeboy model pal. Chill out with Andre Harell and Veronica Webb
at the Showroom Seven photo-shoot in their honor and throb with envy that you can't whip
back to LA for the Soul Train awards! Then off to the MILAN---PARIS---LONDON Women's Ready
To Wears-- with your rising model girlfriend in tow. While in London shop madly for the
next Husseyin Chalayan and keep your ear peeled for the next Bjork/Portishead/Tricky/
Massive Attack.(The Urban Nomad tribe is whispering about an alien b-boy dubbed "
Mank"). |
| MAR - Stumble Back to New York dazed and confused for the BRYANT PARK shows
with your posse of Anglo-Chic hair and make-up rebels who make backstage their personal
domain. Spy is your office away from the office . Sneak a rendezvous with your Brooklyn
bred love interest for dramatic contrast to all that blandness . Weep in fury that you
still weren't invited to the Oscars and had to put up with that Paramount crowd(again)! Do
three day weekends at the Delano in Miami to keep your enviable glow. |
| APR - Now that season's over in Miami-move to The Christadora in the East
Village bracing for the explosion of NYC vitality once the air warms up. After all Pravda
is finally open OK! Sign to Equinox so your body gets back on form. Go around town lying
that you're the food critic for George magazine so as to cop free meals. Afterall you're
going to need the extra protein non? |
| MAY - Terrible blowout avec The Parents and so to stave off financial disaster
decide that you are a fashion stylist. Live on pizza and pasta until you nail that $3,000
TV commercial gig. Call Art and Commerce demanding they rep you! Mail Mom and Dad the
legendary Village Voice article titled "Homeless Club Kids" so they see that
things could be far worse. |
| JUNE - Club, bar and boite your little heart out. Spend the whole day drafting
and sketching your nightly visual (y'know a Very Bianca pinstriped pantsuit with aviator
glasses, floor length cashmere scarf and po'boy cap)at all the right cafe's from the
Prince Street Dean and Deluca's to the lobby of The Paramount to the Conservatory on CPW:
) . Have a fling with a Dominican honey from Ave. B. Sign to DNA Model Management so your
parents are lulled into thinking you have some semblance of a career. Blow good money
recording your jungle demo tape. Go-Go dance for a month at Cafe Con Leche so next month's
bank statement does not betray you. |
| JULY/AUG - Attempt The Hamptons but first dip down to Kingston Jamaica for your
new supply of dance hall tapes , the better to terrorize your peers with. Embarrass the
hell out of Russell and Veronica and Danny by doing the butterfly in the back of the Rover
while on the LIE. Work Benefit Row as all the Usual Suspects try to figure out who's
keeping you. Become totally bored by early August and join Janet Jackson's dubious
entourage on their East Coast summer tour. |
| SEPT/OCT/NOV - Back to the MILAN- PARIS-LONDON-NEW YORK-circuit that renders
you a numbed zombie. Do the MTV awards. While in LA pitch your script based on the crazy
Paris antics of legendary illustrator Antonio. (The poor and anonymous Grace Jones, Jerry
Hall, Tina Chow, Jessica Lange, Pat Cleveland in the same cramped room at the beginning of
their careers! C'mon does it get sicker that that! I defy you to convene a more twisted
entourage! ) Hang around NY for the Fall sample sales. This is a very good time to fall in
love. Go on this bizarre health binge. Move to CPW. Quit smoking. Take up jogging around
Central Park in huge black wraparounds as a tribute to Jackie O. Ponder having kids. |
