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| Ok. So you've studied the ground rules of the high risk act of Manhattan social climbing (See A Social Climber's Guide To Manhattan Pt 1.) Now to move on to the advanced level, commit the following info. to memory |
| Not unlike Dante rings of hell, here are the levels of parties that you need to navigate. Remember now, one wrong move and you go plunging into the pits of nobody-dom. |
| FASHION is the In industry right this minute. What art was to the 80's, fashion is to the 90's. You have to have a super model best friend (Kristen is the easiest, Shalom the most coveted) You have to do the exclusive department store soirées and the fashion magazine dinner parties. You have to do four of the ready-to-wear shows per season , (sorry standing room does not count) . Have moles at all the big showrooms(DK, CK, RL) and all the hip ones-where you can campaign for front row. (Oldham, Mizrahi, Sui, Miu-Miu, Matsuda, Ghost, Richards ). Know every fashion publicist in town. | --by sending out faxes claiming to be producing the next "Unzipped" . Befriend all the paparazzi you can find--publicists will think you're some new celeb who hasn't charted yet when Dina Alfano or Victor Malafronte flashes a bulb as you stalk towards that event that you haven't even been listed for. Better yet--ladies, have sex with w. a cool young photographer (Patrick Anderson, Mario Sorrenti. David Sims) or a hip cutting edge celebrity hag y'know like Leonardo Di Caprio or Stephen Dorff. This way you'll be whisked in instantly on the passport of their fabulousness. |
| FILM Premiere's are brilliant events to rub shoulders with celebs and agents and usually provide a cornucopia of free food and a Trevi fountain of free liquor .Kiss the ass of the Miramax/New Line/Sony/MCA publicists. Register with the Independent Features Project and their annual Independent Filmakers Market week. Their Gotham Awards are priceless for making contacts in the East Coast film world. (Whatever that's worth!) |
| CHARITY Then there is the Upper East Charity Circuit both Junior and Senior. Stick to Junior however because Senior can be totally, like desiccated. Its a plastic surgery gone wrong, social X-ray kinda of horror flick. Risk it only as Joan River's guest. In the summer that whole things leaks over to the South Hamptons so be very afraid. They eat social virgins for lunch in these parts. Keeps them immortal. |
| PUBLISHING : Do the cocktail rounds with the /Random House/ Knopf/Hearst/Conde Naste/ Fairchild serfs. Publishing parties are the easiest things to crash, primarily because they're so thud dull and everybody' s always looking for writers cuz nobody in New York can spell much less right-I mean write (this is why the English have an easy time of it).If you aren't English fake it. Half the English kids in NYC are from Texas.(see Robert Hughes). |
| ART The Soho art world is a wrist-slitting vacuum of tedium -- All the art energy is crackling on 57th street (a/ka/ Dinner Party Gluch) or over in Brooklyn. However get on the Larry Gagosian and Robert Miller lists at all costs, said galleries throw hard-core insider events. Oddly enough there's a fascinating colony of young Italians centered around Alessejandro Twombley who make for a good party too. Get to know them well--it could mean a L'Uomo Vogue paparazzi clip (worth 15 bonus points). |
| UNDERGROUND Always remember that freaky, Klub Kid, Drag Queen, druggy Underground Parties are for dinner table anecdotes only. Do not into that vacuum get sucked. However if you're extremely attractive the sexual underground can be a vital place for connecting with the decadent rich and famous. Somebody say "I was A Houseboy For This Super-Mogul Last Summer In Ibiza And That's How I Became A Star DJ" |