Fashion Week Live

Lose lips sink ships but do tight slips launch fashion fortunes? MODELS.com's ever-fearless Crave the Mad Honey and a certain young Corporate Editrix spare no one in their Fashion Week rampage.

Sun.12/99 Versus (Pre: Show)

EDX: OK Crave, we survived the gauntlet and are nicely nestled in. What's that pout about, Row 3 not good enough?

CtMH: Actually no, but that's not my issue. I'm sleep deprived hon. Between The MTV and The Open and The Chloe I'm feeling very... no rest for the wicked.

EDX: Oh look, Stage right, band set up. More Foo-fighting perhaps.

CtMH: Nah. It's Les Rythmes Digitales and I feel short changed. They're all backstage and not even the girls are aroused and y'know how them models just love musicians. The Spacehog boys are back there clocking more play.

EDX: You know and I know that regardless, this is Fashion Week's peak right here. You know that, don't you? It's celebrity gridlock out there darling. All the editors are assembled. Aren't you waiting with baited breath to see how far from the Vogue cabal they're seating Kate Betts?

CtMH: Kate Bett's here! Respect!

EDX: I haven't seen Kate but I'm sure she's here. Tout le monde is here. There's Bruce Weber across from us... and Talk's Constance White. Hmmm. They're still lumping her in with the Times Gang. Must have been an amiable separation. Is that Harrison Ford beside Ingrid Sischy? So anyway. On my way in I passed Spike Lee, Juliette Lewis, Sylvester Stallone.

CtMH: Sylvester Stallone?

EDX: Precisely. So wrong its right! ...As well as Mary J Blige, Minnie Driver and a dashing young Negro gentleman who must have been Lenny Kravitz.

CtMH: Uhmm Luv, Lenny left town last night.

EDX: No he didn't, look at section C. First row. So who's back there.

CtMH: Y'know. Kate, Kiara, Carmen, Danielle, Frankie, Gisele, Angela, Trish, Erin, Maggie, Amber, Lisa Ratcliffe. Y'know, Les Girls. And Mizz Natane of course.

EDX: You're so charming. Model loyalty at a time when they have been reduced in importance.

CtMH: Ain't nothin reduced about Miss Gisele I can assure.

EDX: Is she still dragging that damned rat-dog of hers around? That's so wrong it's rank.

CtMH: Stop hating... By the by, I'm having that lace throw you're rocking. It's Jade Jagger transcended.

EDX: Why Thanks. Uh-Oh, celebrity wake. ...It's coming our way... Oh dear. It's Lisa Marie Presley and the new man. Right in front of us...Thank god she's tiny. God is she based and beaten to death.

CtMH: Total pancake city no? He's no Michael Jackson from the looks of it. Oops. Celebrity Wake 2 baby. Pandemonium. Flashing Cameras. Pathetic howling from the paparazzi. Jaded Audience craning their neck to see. Must be Madonna.

EDX: Brilliant, now this damned show can finally start. It's eight o'clock for heaven's sake!

(POST-SHOW)

EDX: Crave, Shhh. Please don't voice your inevitably tart opinion just yet. Look who's standing beside you.

CtMH: Who?

EDX: (whispering) Santo.

CtMH: D'Orazio? Like I care.

EDX: No Santo Versace. (To Santo) Helllo Darling

SV: (looking dubiously while suspiciously air kissing) Halllo. Very nice to see you.

EDX: It's always good to see you darling. I'll see you later at Bond. Mwah. Mwah. Let's go... Crave, please don't speak. I can see it in your eyes. You are about to scold aren't you?

CtMH: That was "groovy" man!

EDX: Oh shut up! It was hot and tight and sexy. Crave, she's going to make masses of money off of this one!

CtMH: You don't see Tom Ford having a conflict with the commercial and the creative.

EDX: Yes you did. The Winter '98 collection. He struggled.

CtMH: C'mon hon. Bangs and bikinis and hot pants andtorn T-'s and Lucite heeled knee-high boots.Now where've I seen that before .

EDX: You're a boy, you don't understand! This was a triumph of the feminine. Those dresses are the dresses that girls with the rocking body crave. Those clothes will get you into any nightclub from Gstaad to South Beach and back.

CtMH: The poor girls couldn't walk in those hideous heels. Lucite on Plexiglas. Error! Did you see Kiara skid like what... 4 times? And did you see the blonde who positively ice skated on her first stride. I was just waiting for another wipeout.

EDX: If it wasn't dangerous then it wouldn't be fashion.

CtMH: My point exactly. It was not dangerous. I'm not saying it was bad. I'm saying it was careful. I mean Greg Payne in an all white outfit with matching white shoes. That is too tres chic hospital orderly for poor me.

EDX: First of all that was a beautifully embroidered sheer shirt and pants ensemble. Secondly, if the showroom comped you the outfit you'd so wear it! For the record did you find any redeeming virtues here?

CtMH: Hmm. Carmen Kass did look genius in that weird dress with the asymmetrical hem. I mean, her tiny head with that astonishing bone structure, that lank sheath of blonde hair lilting and flitting and the ability to navigate Plexiglas while wearing aerodynamically impossible Lucite heels. I could not breathe. So anyway, can I crash the after-party with you? I promise I'll just kiss everybody in sight and mutter "market-perfect" till the words are bereft of all irony.

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