Social Climber's Guide to Manhattan Pt.4

OK. Here we go SCG#4 ..
In this season's edition of the Social Climber's Guide, we turn our attentions to a very simple element of urban social engineering: Getting Past The Doorman At Hot Clubs. Many of NYW's reader/viewers have posed the question "What is the answer to the Sphinx's riddle ?" That answer is ludicrously simple dears and here it is.

SCG's Ten Tips To The Seamless Glide Past The Velvet Ropes.

1. NEVER attend a club that you HAVE to get into. Never let them smell you sweat. Nonchalance hon, gets you everywhere and total self-possession is the key that opens social doors. What you should think is this : "I am a fabulous and eclectic soul bringing something vibrant and vital to tonight's party" . Chant it like a mantra as you rinse that raspberry/aloe vera masque off your face (all together now " "I am a fabulous and eclectic soul bringing something vibrant and vital to tonight's party" ) Chant it till this knowledge shimmers around you like an aura! Its a Doorkeeper's job to pick up on the inherent fabulousness of your soignée karma OK!

2. Ingratiate yourself with any of NY's myriad party promoters (See Social Climbers 2) and their staff of door-keepers. There is nothing more powerful than knowing King or Jeff or Kariem or Pablo or Susan personally. Nothing. Going to fashion shows is great for this cuz party promoters are usually standing room and they'll watch with awe as you stride in with the "seating only" crowd. When you show up at the jam packed "Limited Room" after-party they'll "remember you from somewhere".

3. Acquire some kind of socially useful power (booker, editor, stylist, record co exec) or just give the appearance thereof. Place yourself where you're a big fish in a little pool (i.e. start your own party and don't let ANYONE in- or B. Start writing for a magazine. NY has the greatest number of press whores per square inch of terra firma) Get a business card of some sort. Invites to cool parties begets invites to even cooler parties. Cool promoters trawl the loft jams and private dinners in a continuos quest to update their guest lists.

4. Once you get there - Work an effect. Don't just show up after work with your tie off and your collars up thinking the Blues Brother visual is going to excite the doortrix! Put a little effort into it. Be earth shatteringly gorgeous. Have perfect skin! Be insouciantly chic. If that is not an option be amazingly interesting. Y'know : hair dyed baby blue. Pierced eyebrow. Paint a Bladerunner stripe across your eyes. Do something that visually announces "I am an interesting person" Consult a reliable reservoir of super-chic style (like NYW' Styleculture) and dress in the look du jour. For Winter 96 its an opulent visual. Get a big nasty fake fur collar coat and wear something gold lame under the coat . Voila: INstant admission!

5. Travel as a Posse. Show up with a tall, beautiful girl or boy (or girl/boy) working the look of the moment--promoters tend to overlook guys who show up on the solitary tip. Besides who in their right mind goes to these clubs alone ! Let The Gorgeous Thing lead the way. The delighted door diva will sigh " How many in your party? " and Voila--you're in. C'mon you do know someone who is just perfect for said act don't you! If you don't, cultivate such a person right this instant! You're not being superficial. You're just playing the game right!

6. GLIIIIIIIIDE. This is all a game meant to be played with maximum confidence and wit . The object of the game is to psyche and seduce the gatekeepers so the velvet ropes come tumbling down. So relax baby: drift out of your Range Rover (or cab--foot arrivals are deemed suspicious) laughing and smiling, posture perfect., skin shimmering, eyes flashing! Saunter up to that rope smiling broadly, not even acknowledging that silly little barrier, as if you expect it to melt away. And it will!

7. Wear genius shoes. Shoes are the anchor of style. That's one the first things door divas clock. You can look like death warmed over and have flies swarming around you but for all they know you could be Johnny Zander or Michelle Hicks beneath all that (ahem) grunge if your shoes are singing.

8. The next rule is very important sweetie darlings! If there's some kind of jam and you're requested to wait : don't . ANNOUNCE that you're on the list, if they don't snap to attention: LEAVE IMMEDIATELY FOR THE NEAREST COMPETITOR. But first flip out your cell phone(doesn't have to be real) and say "Hi its Dash, could you have my car pick me up at (Wax-Pravda-Jet Lounge-Morgan's Bar.) Next time they'll remember you and not dare the impudence of questioning your fierceness!
(PS. This strategy was discovered all the way back at Buddah Bar where when Romel Henry -(raging beauty , Frederick's doortrix & Gap model) and OY were asked to wait . We were totally K'd out so turned on our heels. The Doorman came running after us. Lesson learnt!)

9. Once you get inside - Hold court. Be visible baby. Don't you dare wallflower! Find a position with very flattering lighting and chill there. Bribe fabulous looking people to rush over to the spot where you are shimmering and have them pay homage to you. The promoters who keep a wary eye out will be very impressed at your effortless magnetism and rank you as a desirable "regular". At an anniversary party for Indochine we once prompted Veronica Webb to break off a conversation with Richard Gere to come over and mwah-mwah with us. (The fact that we were cliquing it up with Honor Fraser, John Galliano, Amanda Herlich and Rupert Evertt was probably a factor) Ever since that event our social stock has been simply stratospheric!

10. Act like you couldn't care less. Do not betray a glimmer of excitement or delight to be there. Half the fun of having perfect skin is never showing an emotion. Lie around on the couch or on the floor with your fabulous friends bored out of your skulls. Act completely out of it. Complain a lot. Keep going "Are you guys ready yet?" Two or three nights of such behavior and you'll be the sort of jaded young urbanite that makes or breaks these joints. Have fun but don't let anyone know.